Posted 11/18/2022
**Names have been changed for this blog**
If you had asked me before my race if I ever thought that I would be part of a deliverance, I would have thought that you were crazy. But there I was sitting in the rocks behind the building with two other squamates, Jess and Alex. There was something weighing heavily upon Alex, choking her words and keeping her distant.
Before I continue on with the story, I need to reiterate something. Mental health is real. Mental illness is real. I have had my fair share of struggles with mental illness and am all too familiar with the way many churches respond to such issues. Mental health is a struggle that affects both believers and non believers alike. With that being said, sometimes mental illness can also be a spiritual issue. It can be the result of demonic influence or oppression, and again, it can impact both believers and non believers alike.
For myself, I have prayed for years to be fully delivered from depression and anxiety. I have casted off every spirit of apathy, every anxious spirit, everything not of God. And yet, I sometimes still struggle. I fully believe the Lord will heal me. Sometimes healing is instantaneous, and sometimes it’s a process. Sometimes God heals through others praying for healing, and sometimes God heals through a therapist. But I believe that both are from God. In this situation, mental illness was not fully biological, but also spiritual.
I asked Alex to say “Jesus is King”, but she couldn’t. She said that something inside of her wasn’t allowing her to declare this truth. Immediately Jess and I began to pray. We prayed fervently and boldly. And, without skipping a beat, we began casting things off.
We prayed against the spirit of silence and casted it off in the name of Jesus. We continued praying against the enemy’s hand, casting off and rebuking every evil and unclean spirit that came to mind. We prayed against the spirit of apathy, anxiety, and depression. We then asked Alex if there was anything they needed to confess and repent of. As God brought the unconfessed sins to her mind, Jess and I continued to intercede.
“Alex, do you want Jesus to be lord over your life?” Jess asked. With tears rolling down her cheeks, Alex smiled.
“Yes.” Altogether, we prayed. For the first time, Alex accepted Jesus as Lord. For the first time, Alex met Jesus.
“Alex, if we can find a way, do you want to be baptized?” Pause.
“I’m not sure. If I get baptized, I don’t want it to be about me. I want it to be about Him.”
“We can baptize you right here, with my water bottle.” Without waiting for a response, I grabbed Jess’s water bottle, ran inside, and filled it under the sink.
“Ready?” I asked. Alex nodded. Jess and I held her as we carefully poured water over her head, baptizing her in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
We prayed over her, almost in shock of what had just happened. When we finished, Alex smiled at us. But this was different. It wasn’t the kind of smile that was forced, stretched over unwilling skin with no light or joy. This smile was real. It spread across easily and lit up her eyes. There wasn’t heaviness there anymore. There was life.
In the moment when we were casting off demons, I didn’t feel as I normally may have felt. Fear didn’t grip me from inside my bones. I wasn’t paralyzed as I sat in the rocks. From deep inside of me, I felt strong. Ready for battle. Fearless. And with each demon we rebuked, the fire inside of me burned brighter and brighter.
Since that day, I have been part of several more deliverances. Each one is different, and I never feel afraid. Even when a demon is looking at me in the eyes and laughing, I am filled with boldness and courage. I don’t have to feel afraid of it anymore. Romans 8:15 tells us that we have not been given the spirit of fear, rather we have been given the spirit of adoption. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that we have not been given the spirit of fear, but if power, love, and a sound mind. This is what the Lord has given me. This is my portion, my inheritance. And if you also believe in Jesus, then this is your inheritance too. Walk boldly in what the Lord has given you, even if it feels out of your depth. Because not too long ago, it felt far from me, too.
Here is how you can be praying for me:
1. The squad: We are now in month 3 and coming closer to the holidays. Pray over the squad as they spend the holidays away from their families. Pray for unity and that they would continue to seek intimacy with God.
2. My co-leaders: Pray for continued strength over us as we lead this squad. Pray for wisdom, discernment, clarity, and rest. This role is sometimes very taxing, pray we would receive refreshment from the Lord.
3. Fundraising: I am still fundraising. Please pray into partnering with me in my ministry, even if it’s $5/month. Every bit helps. Please also join me in prayer.
