Posted 11/26/2022
A few months ago when I was still with N squad, I noticed that my left foot started hurting as I walked. It wasn’t anything significant, just a dull, constant pain. I didn’t remember falling or tripping over anything, so I didn’t think anything of it. Over the next several months, the pain began increasing. Each step I took hurt, and eventually, even standing became painful.
It turns out that sometimes ministry is hard on your body. You don’t always get enough sleep, your travel days are long, you don’t always have access to fresh healthy food, and sometimes your ministry is hard strenuous labor. Part of ministry being hard on your body means that we are constantly walking. Uphill, downhill, on uneven terrain, sometimes for miles and miles. This time with Gap Year was no different. Finally after my foot began to swell, I decided to say something. When I first mentioned it to my leadership team, they immediately came around me and prayed.
I would love to tell you that my foot was healed instantly in that moment, that all of the pain was gone and everything was back to normal. Unfortunately, that is not how things turned out. My foot wasn’t immediately healed. It still hurt just as bad as it did before. So a few days later, I decided to go to the doctor.
After taking some X-rays and speaking to a few specialists, I received my diagnosis. My big toe is out of alignment. This means that whenever I walk, and especially in shoes that lack support, my joint pushes against my foot, causing the pain in my foot. In order to help fix the problem and avoid the possibility of surgery, I would need to go to physical therapy for the next several weeks.
After hearing this from the doctor, I continued praying over my foot. I asked others to pray. Whenever I thought about it, I would pray. And yet, my foot wasn’t healed. It still hurt. I quickly felt discouraged. Why wasn’t God healing me? I had seen Him heal others before time and time again. Whenever Jesus laid hands on the sick, they were healed. So what was different this time? I didn’t understand.
As I continued praying and asking the Lord, He kept saying the same thing over and over again. Be patient. I am working. But if He was working, then why wasn’t anything different? And then I was reminded of something. God doesn’t always heal the same way every time.
In John 9:6, Jesus spits in the mud to give sight to a blind man. In Mark 7:33, He put his fingers in a man’s ears to restore his hearing. In Luke 17:14, Jesus tells the 10 lepers to show themselves to the priest. On their way to the priest, they were healed. Sometimes healing looks different. Sometimes someone is healed instantly from a touch from God. Other times He heals through doctors and medications. And sometimes we are healed through time. Even if our healing looks different, it is not because we have a lack of faith or because we did something wrong. In the end, we are healed because of God. And that is always worth celebrating.
For me, God is healing my foot through doctors. It is slow and the evidence is not apparent. But He is working. And I believe I am being healed right now as I write these words. So if you find yourself in a discouraging place, where healing feels a thousand miles away and it is impossible to reach for it, remember that God is with you. He loves you dearly, and He is working on your behalf. Healing is sometimes a long process. It doesn’t always come in the way we expect or in the timing we want. But it is coming.
Quick update:
N squad just finished their time on the field. After a few days of travel, they have landed back in the states for the first time in 11 months. On Monday, I will fly back to Georgia for their final debrief before heading back to Guatemala later that week.
Here is how you can be praying:
- The squad – The holidays are here! This is the first time most of them will spend the holidays away from home. Pray over their hearts and minds. Pray that we would celebrate well together despite missing home. And pray over us as we are soon approaching our kid way debrief in January. Pray they would be open and receptive to all that the Lord wants to do in them and through them.
- N squad – Pray over them as they begin their final debrief. Transitioning home after being on the field for a year can be challenging. Pray they would begin processing what their time on the race has been. Pray they would end well together. Pray that the Lord would open up opportunities for them, and that His favor would be upon them.
- My co-leaders – Pray for us as we prepare to enter month 4. We are almost halfway through (crazy!). Pray we would rest well in the Lord. Pray we would lead out of a place of abundance and not out of a place of lack. Pray we would continue to sow into our relationships with each other as well as with the squad.
- Me – Please continue praying over my foot. Pray for a quick recovery, and that the Lord would be glorified in all of this. Pray into supporting my ministry. You can support me through prayer or financially. Even if it’s $5 a month, it makes a huge difference.
