The unknown is a terrifying thing. When we are faced with so much unknown and unpredictability, it often feels like we are trying to walk on a tight rope strung above an abyss. We are unbalanced. Each step is a complete gamble of if we’ll stay on track, or fall into complete darkness.
Late last year, I was accepted into the World Race. An entry into God’s calling. It was setting I had been wanting to do for years, but the timing never seemed to work out. For a while, I had given up on ever going on the Race. Surely, if it was supposed to happen, then it would have happened. Surely God would have made a way if it was truly in His will. But every attempt that I had made had failed. Until eventually, it was time. With much anxiety, I answered the phone while on break at work. Each pause from the caller on the other line felt like rocks in my stomach. And then, I heard those words. “We’re happy to accept you into the World Race for October.” Relief. I could breathe. Joy overflowed from inside of me, spilling my lips into the air. This was it. This was really happening!
Over the next couple of months, I began the long, seemingly endless step of fundraising. I hate asking for money, so having to reach out to friends, family, and aquantances felt unnatural and awkward. Each message and letter sent was followed by instant guilt. Especially once COVID was declared a global pandemic, and people started loosing their jobs. But I persisted. And God confirmed with me time after time again that this is what I was supposed to do.
And then, we went into lockdown. I was sent to work from home indefinitely, businesses were closed, churches went to online services only, and wearing masks out in public became the new norm. Along with all of this, countries were closing their borders. This brought up an entirely new question. What was happening with our October trip? We’re we going to be deferred? Would it be cancelled entirely? There was so much unknown, so much that I couldn’t predict. I was saved with the possibility of not being able to do what I was so sure God had called me to do. But all I could do was wait.
It felt like an eternity, maybe even two. But the date finally came. August 3, 2020. Every few moments I found myself refreshing my email for news on what was happening. The anticipation was agonizing. But eventually, I received it. And it wasn’t what I was expecting. Instead of being told what exactly was going to happen, I was given a few different options:
1. Launch in October, but instead of going abroad immediately, I would be doing stateside ministry. I would be going to 2 of 5 places from October to December: Chicago, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Wisconsin, or North Carolina. Come January, if countries have started opening again, then I would launch internationally. I would be going to Central America (starting in Guatemala), South America (starting in Ecuador), and Asia (starting in Thailand).
2. Defer until January. I could join one of 3 different routes. This, of course, depends on the status of COVID, and if countries are opening back up.
3. Defer until August of 2021. Hopefully by this time, everything will be back to normal and I could do the full 11 countries in 11 months.
4. Withdraw completely from the World Race.
Immediately upon opening the email, I knew what I was supposed to do. There was only peace. If God called me to in October before the pandemic, then He was still calling me to go now. I remembered every confirmation I had received up until that point. There was no question about it. I was picking option 1. And that is where we are today. I am still launching on the World Race this October. And although it looks different that what I thought it would, I am elated to do the Lord’s work. Wherever that takes me.
