Oftentimes, God speaks to us in the silence. That is not to say that He doesn’t speak to us amoungst the chaos, He definitely does. But I have found that I can hear Him clearly in the silence, the stillness. As this year came to an end, the Lord spoke to me in a moment of quietness. 2020 would be about two main things: trust and vulnerability.
Trust. Of course this means that I need to trust God more. At least, that was my first thought. And while I do need to trust Him more, I think that this word reaches deeper. I need to trust in His provision over my life. Not just with finances, but with everything. Especially with fundraising. If we look at scripture, we can see how God provided for His people time and time again. In Exodus 16:1-36 and 17:1-7, He provided food and water to the Israelites as they wondered the desert in ways none of them expected. In the New Testamet, Jesus fed multitudes of people (more than once)! In fact, He provided so much that there 12 baskets full of leftovers. I have to believe that the same God who provided these incredible miracles is the same God who will provide for me. Not just with fundraising, but in daily life. With my personal finances, opportunities, relationships. Everything. But I think God is also telling me that I need to trust more in the people around me. That is not to say that people will not fail me. They will. And I will fail people. That’s to be expected. But I need to give them the benefit of the doubt. And when they inevitably do let me down, I need to forgive and allow them grace. Because He has done the same with me.
As I look into the word vulnerability, I am immediately filled with dread. Who wants to be completely vulnerable with someone and show them the bad parts about themselves? It’s scary, and it almost goes against our natural instinct to self protect. But there is beauty in vulnerability. With vulnerability comes confession. Confession of sins, yes, but also confession of past hurts and brokeness. But why would we want to confess and reveal these deep wounds that we have kept secret? Buried? Because confession brings freedom. I believe that if we are willing to confess, we can start to break off the chains that the enemy has tried to tie us down with. It breaks away shame, something that isn’t even from God. But it also creates connection. We have no idea what our story can do for someone else. We don’t know the magnitude of who we can reach, or the good that can come from the dark parts of our past. He can take the things that the enemy meant for evil, and use it for good. And maybe that’s from sharing our testimony. Maybe that’s from taking the first step towards our breakthrough, towards our victory. He has already promised and delivered us from these things, so if we are willing to be open about them, then the enemy can’t hold it against us any longer. What a beautiful thing!
This is what my 2020 looks like. Trust in God and the people around me, and the willingness and ability to be vulnerable and open with others. Of course, this doesn’t mean that I am going to blindly trust everyone and spew out my testimony to complete strangers. I need to do so with discernment and authenticity. But I do know that this is where God is wanting me to focus. What word has God spoken to you for 2020?
Hannah, this is spot on! Thank you for sharing-it encouraged me in my own challenges with vulnerability and trusting God….and being ready to give the benefit of the doubt, forgiveness, and grace.
Honestly, while you have a travel race ahead- everyday we are in a race a Paul talks about. May we each keep moving forward…. you remain in my prayers.
Blessings!