Today is my last day on the field. Tomorrow I will board a plane and fly home to Dallas. There is a mix of emotions as I prepare to go back home. In a lot of ways, I wish I could remain with the squad. I have spent the past 6 months with them, and I have a lot of love for them. But at the same time, I miss my family. I have spent a long time away from home, and I am excited to be with them again.
I find myself back in a familiar place. I remember these same emotions when I preparing to come home from my race. Excitement, sadness, nervousness, joy. Everything all at once. Coming home can be hard. Sometimes there is a loneliness that fills you. The community you had now looks different. They are still there, but they are now further away. Leaving them means that you have to trust that they will still be there if and when you need them. And sometimes, trusting is hard.
As you live your life away from home, their lives continue going. There are things that you miss, events you weren’t there for. Laughter and heartbreak and joy and mourning. There’s grow just as you do. In some ways, you are reentering into a different place than what you left. This is not bad. It can be very good. But it can also be very hard.
The experiences you have on the field are incredible. They are saturated with God’s goodness and faithfulness. They stretch you and challenge you. They break you down and leave you with nothing else to depend on except for God. And sometimes, our words don’t justify what we have seen and gone through. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t try.
So yes, I am excited to go home. I can’t wait to hug my nephews and to spend time with my parents and siblings. I look forward to being back home, with hot water and coffee whenever I want. But I am also sad to leave people I dearly treasure. It is both, and. And that is okay.
Thanks for being such a good communicator while you were on your race, Hannah. I’ve enjoyed reading your blogs! You have a bright future ahead of you. All the best as you return home.
Well done, Hannah! Another season of squad leading with excellence completed!!!
Sounds like you have many happy reunions to come; family, friends, Final Debrief, etc.
We look forward to having you join us on the G-Squad call on Tues! Love you so much!
Hi Sweet Zim! Awww! We know you are having all these feelings. We love you and are praying for His sweet peace as you enter your next season at home. Look forward to seeing you some time soon!
So so so happy for you Hannah. May the lord light your path as you go forward. I feel privileged to know you even a little. Xxx.