I can’t do this. There is no way I can lead this group of people. There are so many other people who would do a better job. I am not qualified.
Every time the Lord asks me to step into a place of leadership, these same thoughts cross my mind. Insecurity and comparison come charging at me, ready to break me down. Regrets and memories from past failures meet me at my knees and remind me of every single reason why I am not good enough, or why I am incapable.
Leadership is hard. Some days I wonder if anything I do makes a difference at all. Most days, actually. The enemy attacks, and he attacks hard. I feel vulnerable and exposed in almost every single way. I am filled with doubts and worry that I will only add to the hurt that people have experienced in their lives. I often doubt whether or not I am truly supposed to be doing this.
A few months back, I was helping train new leaders for the squad I lead earlier this year. During one of our sessions, the new leaders were sharing fears or insecurities they had about being in leadership. Many of the things they felt are the same things I am feeling now. They are things that almost every leader I have spoken to has said. Feelings of inadequacy and comparison.
In scripture, God uses the unqualified all the time. David was a shepherd, and yet, he was anointed to be king over all of Israel. Peter was a fisherman, and he was chosen to walk closely with Jesus as a disciple and friend. Esther was a Jewish woman, and she saved her entire nation. The woman at the well was a Samaritan who was living in complete sin, and Jesus chose her to share the Good News with her people. None of these people were qualified or adequate for the calling God gave them. And that is the whole point. We are not qualified. And God chooses us anyways. He works through us despite the fact that someone else could do it better. We are here for a reason.
I don’t feel qualified or adequate or good enough for this role. And that is okay. Because God knows that I will mess up and fall short. He knows my humanity will show through. And He chose me anyways. I only need to be obedient and trust Him. So if you find yourself in a position or situation where you feel as to though you are out of your depth, trust that God is okay with it. And He will still move.
Hannah – If we felt confident in all we do we wouldn’t need to lean on Jesus!!! I have felt your insecurities many times through the years and looking back now those were the times I have felt the closest to Him.
xoxoxoxo
I love you Zim, and I’m proud of you. And how you are more valuable than the roles He asks you to be in, and how you give Him the glory! I’m so excited for this journey and for your squad; they’re blessed to have you!! The Lord chose you, and that’s what matters!! And you’re honored for the work that you do! Always rooting you on, always!
YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. Take courage, dear heart!!!
My COURAGEOUS Hannah!
You are acquiring such faith with each victory the Lord walks you through!
My journey has been so similar. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t put so much pressure on myself by thinking I was doing it in my own strength, because I never was; it was all the Lord’s doing! My roll was simply to be willing to step out in faith and show my love & compassion for others.
It was always the Lord’s words, when I needed to encourage a Racer, His strength, to endure the travel days and His wisdom and leading in making the decisions.
In spite of the fear, you have been taking giant steps of faith for a long while. Marty & I have noticed your competence, intelligence, reliability, and especially your courage in doing so.
For me, when the lie comes, that what I am doing doesn’t matter, I cling to this verse.
Galatians 6:9
And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
And I promise you, Hannah, it IS true; the harvest WILL come! It may appear in a different field or look like a different crop than what you expected, but it WILL come.
I can already see, for instance, what an incredibly precious parent you will be one day, and the confidence you will walk in with regards to work and/or ministry. All of this life experience is creating in you great wisdom and FAITH.
I love you, Hannah!
On our very 1st Debrief, I knew you were qualified!
YES! He has even used me. Your faithfulness and obedience are inspiring. You go girl.